Happily Ever After The Divorce

2009-08-18T17:45:00.004-04:00

Lilly at 4 months

Lilly now!

Newborn Lilly

Wow! It's been a long time! And a lot has happened! Most importantly my baby girl, Lilly Grace, was born on February 13, 2009. I got the cart before the horse so my wedding won't be until next June. My fairy tale has had a happy ending after all! Now I can blog about all things wedding! I forgot how awful wedding planning is, but I'm going to make the most of it and have a fabulous second wedding.

2007-08-24T12:22:00.000-04:00

Catching up.....

It has been forever since I have posted anything. There is a lot of catching up to do! The kids and I have been to Jersey, the beach, and had a good time at home! But Summer is almost over. It is back to school on Monday. My favorite time of year!

2007-08-24T12:21:00.000-04:00

The Purple Cow
by Gelett Burgess

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one,
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!

2007-08-24T12:05:00.000-04:00

Life's A Beach!!!

2007-07-10T12:19:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to me!

I turn 34 today! woo hoo!

"What Do Women Want?"

by Kim Addonizio

I want a red dress.
I want it flimsy and cheap,
I want it too tight, I want to wear it
until someone tears it off me.
I want it sleeveless and backless,
this dress, so no one has to guess
what's underneath. I want to walk down
the street past Thrifty's and the hardware store
with all those keys glittering in the window,
past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
I want to walk like I'm the only
woman on earth and I can have my pick.
I want that red dress bad.
I want it to confirm
your worst fears about me,
to show you how little I care about you
or anything except what
I want. When I find it, I'll pull that garment
from its hanger like I'm choosing a body
to carry me into this world, through
the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
and I'll wear it like bones, like skin,
it'll be the goddamned
dress they bury me in.
From Tell Me by Kim Addonizio. Copyright © 2000 by Kim Addonizio.

2007-07-09T12:22:00.000-04:00

Some photographs...

these are from June 24th....I got up early and just felt like taking some pics. I think they turned out quite well!

2007-06-20T12:59:00.000-04:00

Hanging Out at the Grimesland Park

2007-06-18T16:00:00.000-04:00

Sunday in the Park

Todd Ethan eating ice cream! Yummy treat!
Todd Ethan is my little man!
Crazy crackheads!
Sweet baby boy!
Me and my girl! Look matching dimples!!!

2007-06-18T15:55:00.000-04:00

More from the dance recital....I am so far behind with posting all my pictures. And we haven't even done that much!!! Thank goodness.

2007-06-15T15:35:00.000-04:00

Summer is here!

Well, not really, but the kids are out of school for the summer. I have been really slack about posting and I have a lot to post. Maybe I can get caught up this weekend. Elizabeth had a dance recital back in May. She danced beautifully and gracefully and it took my breath away. I am always amazed at how wonderfully she dances. It makes me smile. I hope that she will continue dancing for the rest of her life!

2007-05-08T16:58:00.000-04:00

In my backyard there are two trees that have grown together. I have tried to take a picture to show how they have grown around one another, and how their limbs are wrapped around one another, and how their branches are intertwined. It is as if they are holding each other up and are hugging one another.

2007-05-08T16:35:00.000-04:00

More From April 21st!

Elizabeth has a lot of hair!
I tried out Elizabeth's roller blades

Roller blading after soccer

2007-05-08T09:06:00.000-04:00

Another Soccer Saturday (and oops posted this out of order!) This was April 21,2007 the day before Earth Day.

2007-05-08T08:55:00.000-04:00

Earth Day Concert at the Town Commons in Greenville

2007-04-20T10:23:00.000-04:00

National Poetry Month

It is National Poetry Month. Every morning I open my email and read the poem of the day from Poets.Org. This is yesterday's poem and it just seemed appropriate.

April
by Sally Van Doren

I chart the psyche,
observing how I
force myself to speak
to you, imagining that
together we might
transform a life.

Why this need
to document change,
to reverse a mood,
to carry forward the time
when magnolias bloom?

Let's follow the itinerant we
up and over the jonquil's back,
treading on its spilled bullion.

2007-04-18T16:08:00.000-04:00

Baby Pictures

Our eggs have hatched and we have four baby birds in the nest on the wreath on the front door. In the past week they have grown leaps and bounds.

2007-04-16T20:17:00.000-04:00

Todd Ethan's 7th Birthday April 15, 2007

His present--a tent!

Who knew sleeping bags were cuddly?

2007-04-16T17:52:00.000-04:00

Courtlynn and me!

Lizzy and me!

TE and me!

Courtlynn

2007-04-16T17:37:00.000-04:00

Trip to The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, PA

2007-04-16T17:29:00.000-04:00

Easter Sunday in New Jersey

2007-04-16T17:05:00.000-04:00

Todd Ethan's Birthday Party at Build-a-Bear Workshop on April 7, 2007

2007-04-04T21:28:00.000-04:00

Under The Lights...

Elizabeth danced and twirled while Todd Ethan had his soccer clinic at Bradford Creek Soccer Complex. And a good shadow can hide a multitude of sins!

2007-04-01T11:59:00.000-04:00

Saturdays are for Soccer!

2007-03-25T16:35:00.000-04:00

We Have Eggs In Our Nest!

I am not sure if it was a good idea for Mama Bird to build her nest on our front door wreath, but it is a lot of fun looking at the nest and the eggs.

2007-03-24T16:40:00.000-04:00

Todd Ethan's First Spring Soccer Game

TE's team, the Strikers, won! Yay! Way to go Todd Ethan!

2007-03-22T15:26:00.000-04:00

The Daffodils

by William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A Poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

2007-03-20T09:41:00.000-04:00

Joy and Happiness (In a box and delivered by UPS!!!!)

Happy Spring! I think the vernal equinox is actually tomorrow but today is close enough to welcome Spring. Since something has gone awry with my double apricot hollyhock, I ordered some hollyhock plants from Burpee. Now it isn't going to be the same as my double apricot but it brings me just as much joy. Apparently it doesn't take much to make me happy. I am a simple girl. Now if only I could order someone to pull all the weeds in my flower bed!

2007-03-19T16:19:00.000-04:00

The Deck of Despair

I finally finished painting the deck. Yay! Now onto all the other tasks I need to complete on my 16 page To Do list!

2007-03-19T11:01:00.000-04:00

Ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed? I think I woke up on the wrong side of life. It is the little things that get under my skin and make me angry. Or maybe when I discover things that aren't as they seem. No one likes to be lied to or deceived. Anyway, my kitty cats almost make me forget all the little things that piss me off in a big way. And the fact that what goes around comes around!

2007-02-23T15:24:00.000-05:00

2007-02-23T15:20:00.000-05:00

What We Want
by Linda Pastan

What we want
is never simple.
We move among the things
we thought we wanted:
a face, a room, an open book
and these things bear our names--
now they want us.
But what we want appears
in dreams, wearing disguises.
We fall past,
holding out our arms
and in the morning
our arms ache.
We don't remember the dream,
but the dream remembers us.
It is there all day
as an animal is there
under the table,
as the stars are there
even in full sun.

2007-02-11T22:25:00.000-05:00

TE is just so cute! And so is Lulu. She loves him as much as he loves her.

2007-02-06T14:52:00.000-05:00

*This is my 100th post! Yay!*

Tonight
by Sara Teasdale

The moon is a curving flower of gold,
The sky is still and blue;
The moon was made for the sky to hold,
And I for you.

The moon is a flower without a stem,
The sky is luminous;
Eternity was made for them,
To-night for us.

2007-02-01T22:16:00.000-05:00

Snow Flurries!

2007-02-01T21:21:00.000-05:00

Partners
by Ellis Parker Butler

Love took chambers on our street
Opposite to mine;
On his door he tacked a neat,
Clearly lettered sign.

Straightway grew his custom great,
For his sign read so:
“Hearts united while you wait.
Step in. Love and Co.”

Much I wondered who was “Co.”
In Love’s partnership;
Thought across the street I’d go—
Learn from Love’s own lip.

So I went; and since that day
Life is hard for me.
I was buncoed! (By the way,
“Co.” is Jealousy.)

2007-01-19T12:02:00.000-05:00

Divorce
by Jack Gilbert

Woke up suddenly thinking I heard crying.
Rushed through the dark house.
Stopped, remembering. Stood looking
out at bright moonlight on concrete.

2007-01-19T11:41:00.000-05:00

Marriage or Divorce? Which sucks more?

I once thought I was happily married but if I think about it too long I realize that I wasn't very happily married. As a person I am very happy. I find happiness in all kinds of things. But I don't rely on another human being to make me happy. I think that is why so many people find themselves in divorce court. Even when things are not going my way, I still find reason to smile.

I liked being part of a partnership. I liked sharing my life with someone else. I even liked taking care of someone. But that someone wasn't happy. Whatever "happy" is/was to him. I could blame my ex for a lot of things. But being accountable and honest prevent me from blaming him for everything. He wanted and pursued a divorce. He wanted to be with someone else. I wanted a lot of things too. Him being my source of happiness wasn't one of those things!

If both people enjoy that partnership and are seeking the same things in life, then I am pretty sure that marriage doesn't suck. But the thing about marriage, that 50% of married couples are missing, is that marriage isn't always perfect. Whatever happened to the vows? Do people even consider them after they walk out of the church? Is it just ceremonial and not to be really practised in real life?

For me divorce does suck worse than being married. My marriage failed and I couldn't prevent that from happening. The aftermath of the divorce is much worse than the events that lead up to the divorce. It seems like lately I have had to deal with a lot of things that make me lose even more respect for my ex husband. It makes it hard to remember what I saw in him in the first place.

2007-01-08T20:17:00.001-05:00

I heart Walgreen's!

My goodies and, yes, I do need kissable lipstick. Nothing wrong with wishful thinking!

Today I was shopping in Walgreen's and what did I see? Make-up. Free make-up. Well, buy one get one free. For most of my life I just walked around without any make-up. None. Zip. Nothing. But then the thirties happened and my skin went to hell. A lot of other things went to hell, too! Grey hairs showed up (that is a misnomer--those babies are white and wiry but with the help of hairdresser Sue they are covered with hair dye!) And wrinkles. I am sure there are more wrinkles to come, but I for one will never forget the first time I saw time marching across my face! Now, Walgreen's is no Sephora but when you are living on the cheap it will do--at least when it comes to make-up.

2007-01-07T20:30:00.000-05:00

The Philosopher
by Edna St. Vincent Millay

And what are you that, wanting you,
I should be kept awake
As many nights as there are days
With weeping for your sake?

And what are you that, missing you,
As many days as crawl
I should be listening to the wind
And looking at the wall?

I know a man that's a braver man
And twenty men as kind,
And what are you, that you should be
The one man in my mind?

Yet women's ways are witless ways,
As any sage will tell,—
And what am I, that I should love
So wisely and so well?

2007-01-07T15:29:00.000-05:00

Lazy Sunday Afternoon...

2007-01-05T12:42:00.000-05:00

TGIF!

It is a rainy miserable Friday. A perfect day for snuggling on the couch.

2007-01-05T01:56:00.000-05:00

Silliness

2007-01-01T01:06:00.000-05:00

2007 Is Here!

Lulu and I stayed up and brought the new year in together. We toasted the New Year with milk and brownies. Who needs champagne and kisses?

2006-12-31T17:22:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

In less than seven hours we will be ushering in 2007! 2006 seems like it went by way too fast. I hope everyone will have a safe and happy New Year's. I probably will be in bed snoring!

2006-12-30T10:14:00.000-05:00

Sis and the wee lass Courtlynn

Cousins

Elizabeth and Courtlynn

2006-12-30T09:59:00.000-05:00

Barn down the road from my parent's house

Delaware Memorial Bridge

Nice view while stuck in traffic

Sunset on Delaware Memorial Bridge

My Trip to NJ!

2006-12-30T01:50:00.000-05:00

It's good to be back home!

On Tuesday afternoon the kids and I drove to NJ. They had a great time with their cousins and their Nana and Poppy. I enjoyed being extremely lazy. We drove back Friday and got in after midnight (which is why I am posting at nearly 2:00 am.) I took pics, but the camera is in the car and I am way too lazy to go fetch it. Tomorrow I shall post pics from our NJ trip!

2006-12-25T10:24:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

I have survived my first Christmas alone. At least so far I have survived it! And look kids, Santa came last night! Can't wait to see my babies this afternoon. Have a Merry Christmas ya'll and I hope Santa brought you everything you wanted.

2006-12-25T10:20:00.000-05:00

Lines
by Martha Collins

Draw a line. Write a line. There.
Stay in line, hold the line, a glance
between the lines is fine but don't
turn corners, cross, cut in, go over
or out, between two points of no
return's a line of flight, between
two points of view's a line of vision.
But a line of thought is rarely
straight, an open line's no party
line, however fine your point.
A line of fire communicates, but drop
your weapons and drop your line,
consider the shortest distance from x
to y, let x be me, let y be you.

2006-12-22T17:22:00.000-05:00

All I want for Christmas....

is to be with my kids. But this year they will spend Christmas with their Daddy. I just dropped them off. Hugging them good bye, knowing they wouldn't be waking me up at 4:45 am Christmas morn, breaks my heart. I had to blink away tears and jump back in the car. My kids still believe in Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy, and wishes on shooting stars. Missing just a minute of that is unfair and maybe even cruel. I won't get to take the picture of them in matching pj's with cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. I won't get to read A Night Before Christmas or watch the Christmas Story with them. Or get to videotape them tearing into every gift and tossing it aside when it is clothes. I won't miss the search for batteries! Or putting together their bikes. But I will miss them and every minute of that Christmas magic that only kids can bring to Christmas day. I hope you will be with someone you love this Christmas!

2006-12-22T08:48:00.000-05:00

Karma
by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Christmas was in the air and all was well
With him, but for a few confusing flaws
In divers of God's images. Because
A friend of his would neither buy nor sell,
Was he to answer for the axe that fell?
He pondered; and the reason for it was,
Partly, a slowly freezing Santa Claus
Upon the corner, with his beard and bell.

Acknowledging an improvident surprise,
He magnified a fancy that he wished
The friend whom he had wrecked were here again.
Not sure of that, he found a compromise;
And from the fulness of his heart he fished
A dime for Jesus who had died for men.

2006-12-21T02:48:00.000-05:00

Lies About Love
by D.H. Lawrence

We are a liars, because
the truth of yesterday becomes a lie tomorrow,
whereas letters are fixed,
and we live by the letter of truth.
The love I feel for my friend, this year,
is different from the love I felt last year.
If it were not so, it would be a lie.
Yet we reiterate love! love! love!
as if it were a coin with a fixed value
instead of a flower that dies, and opens a different bud.

2006-12-21T02:39:00.000-05:00

Search For Truth
by D.H. Lawrence

Search for nothing any more, nothing
except truth.
Be very still, and try and get at the truth.

And the first question to ask yourself is:
How great a liar am I?

2006-12-21T02:31:00.000-05:00

The Untrustworthy Speaker
by Louise Gluck

Don't listen to me; my heart's been broken.
I don't see anything objectively.

I know myself; I've learned to hear like a psychiatrist.
When I speak passionately,
That's when I'm least to be trusted.

It's very sad, really: all my life I've been praised
For my intelligence, my powers of language, of insight-
In the end they're wasted-

I never see myself.
Standing on the front steps. Holding my sisters hand.
That's why I can't account
For the bruises on her arm where the sleeve ends . . .

In my own mind, I'm invisible: that's why I'm dangerous.
People like me, who seem selfless.
We're the cripples, the liars:
We're the ones who should be factored out
In the interest of truth.

When I'm quiet, that's when the truth emerges.
A clear sky, the clouds like white fibers.
Underneath, a little gray house. The azaleas
Red and bright pink.

If you want the truth, you have to close yourself
To the older sister, block her out:
When I living thing is hurt like that
In its deepest workings,
All function is altered.

That's why I'm not to be trusted.
Because a wound to the heart
Is also a wound to the mind.

2006-12-20T19:16:00.000-05:00

Elizabeth's Classroom Door

Elizabeth's Gift on the Giving Tree

2006-12-20T19:01:00.000-05:00

TE and Mr. D

Cupcake!!!!

Mr. D and friends

2006-12-20T10:38:00.000-05:00

15%
by Richard Brautigan

she tries to get things
out of men
that she can't get
because she's not
15% prettier

2006-12-20T08:11:00.000-05:00

Todd Ethan and Mrs. Mair

Christmas Open House

Yesterday I went to the kids' school for a Christmas Open House at Todd Ethan's classroom. The kids sang a few songs and told about how people celebrated the holidays. Then the kids served their parents some cookies and punch. This afternoon I will be going back to the kids' school for their classroom parties! Elizabeth's party is first then Todd Ethan's. Then at 2:30 this afternoon their holiday begins and no school for them until 2007!

2006-12-18T14:00:00.000-05:00

Something Is Amiss Under The Christmas Tree

2006-12-17T18:14:00.000-05:00

My Christmas Gift to You!

I haven't been in a very festive mood lately, but today I finally got my Christmas card picture taken and I am feeling a little more like Christmas. Now I just have to address a zillion Christmas cards and get them ready to be mailed. Todd Ethan looks as mad as a snake because he was that mad. He wanted to hold the ornament. He is so freaking cute when he is angry. Don't worry, he was having giggle fits just a few minutes later.

2006-12-16T15:50:00.000-05:00

Lulu

Okay, I am the crazy cat lady so it is acceptable for me to write this: Lulu acts and looks like a human. Her expressions with her eyes are so human-like. She has to be the most photogenic cat of all time.

2006-12-16T15:04:00.000-05:00

Happy Divorce Day!

One day late for me, but Happy Divorce Day sis(has it been six years???) I think we both celebrate our divorces with the same enthusiasm. And, yes, it is quite odd that we would be granted our divorces on nearly the same day(years apart!) We have a knack for that don't we? Sons that share the same birthday, just different years! Children born the same year, same month, just days apart. We know how to keep Mommy busy. I wish we could have been together to celebrate our divorces! We have come a long way, baby! Hope you have a fabulous day. And hey sis, you are all that and then some!

2006-12-16T14:58:00.000-05:00

I Win!

Hands down, I have the cutest children on the planet. Don't even think of mentioning that they look nothing like me!

2006-12-13T18:37:00.000-05:00

Barefoot
by Anne Sexton

Loving me with my shoes off
means loving my long brown legs,
sweet dears, as good as spoons;
and my feet, those two children
let out to play naked. Intricate nubs,
my toes. No longer bound.
And what's more, see toenails and
all ten stages, root by root.
All spirited and wild, this little
piggy went to market and this little piggy
stayed. Long brown legs and long brown toes.
Further up, my darling, the woman
is calling her secrets, little houses,
little tongues that tell you.
There is no one else but us
in this house on the land spit.
The sea wears a bell in its navel.
And I'm your barefoot wench for a
whole week. Do you care for salami?
No. You'd rather not have a scotch?
No. You don't really drink. You do
drink me. The gulls kill fish,
crying out like three-year-olds.
The surf's a narcotic, calling out,
I am, I am, I am
all night long. Barefoot,
I drum up and down your back.
In the morning I run from door to door
of the cabin playing chase me.
Now you grab me by the ankles.
Now you work your way up the legs
and come to pierce me at my hunger mark

2006-12-10T20:50:00.000-05:00

Coffee from Arabia

(photo courtesy of NCADA)

Elizabeth, the most beautiful arabian candy on this planet!

Me and my super cool and handsome date!

Wright Auditorium

Elizabeth you performed beautifully. You are my prima ballerina! Bravo!

2006-12-08T15:20:00.000-05:00

Mad Girl's Love Song
by Sylvia Plath

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

2006-12-06T18:57:00.000-05:00

Please visit this website:
http://icasualties.org/oif/

Dulce Et Decorum Est
by Wilfred Owen

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags,we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! — An ecstasy of fumbling
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime.-
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin,
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs
Bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, —
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

2006-12-05T10:34:00.000-05:00

A kiss and a snuggle just for you!

2006-12-04T15:01:00.000-05:00

O Christmas Tree!

Last year I didn't put the tree up until Christmas eve. I even had the first ever Judy family Christmas party and there were no Christmas decorations to be found. Maybe this year there is more to celebrate. And December 15th I will have my 2nd Annual Christmas party. It just happens to be a coincidence that December 15th is the first year anniversary of my divorce. See, lots of reasons to celebrate this year! And here is my Christmas list (just in case you were wondering): The Moon and World Peace. That isn't too much to ask for, is it? I will settle for peace with ex-spouses, but I still want the moon!

2006-12-03T15:46:00.000-05:00

Taking Leave Of A Friend
by Ezra Pound

Blue mountains to the north of the walls,
White river winding about them;
Here we must make separation
And go out through a thousand miles of dead grass.

Mind like a floating wide cloud,
Sunset like the parting of old acquaintances
Who bow over their clasped hands at a distance.
Our horses neigh to each others
as we are departing.

2006-12-02T09:28:00.000-05:00

A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning
by John Donne

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"The breath goes now," and some say, "No,"

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of the earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
Those things which elemented it.

But we, by a love so much refined
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assured of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion.
Like gold to airy thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two:
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if the other do;

And though it in the center sit,
Yet when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like the other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.

2006-12-01T08:53:00.000-05:00

After: oh the horror!

Before: Be still my heart!

Before and After

About five years ago I started a double apricot hollyhock from seed. Two years later it bloomed for the first time. Each year it has come back bigger and better. It fills my heart with joy to see it bloom.

Then this morning I noticed that much of my beloved apricot hollyhock has died! And it isn't coming back!

2006-11-30T22:02:00.000-05:00

For my sister

For missing me and worrying about me, this is just for you! Our favorite poem.
kisses.
Lil sis

The Primer
by Christina Davis

She said, I love you.

He said, Nothing.
(As if there were just one
of each word and the one
who used it, used it up).

In the history of language
the first obscenity was silence.

2006-11-30T11:27:00.000-05:00

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

2006-11-29T08:10:00.000-05:00

In the mood (again!)

Today I hope to get my house decorated for Christmas. I still have some cleaning to do before I can put any decorations up, but I am very excited. I have the Christmas music playing and I have on my Nutcracker T shirt(reminds me: Dance Arts Theatre presents The Nutcracker Dec 9 & 10, Wright Auditorium, ECU---Elizabeth's 4 minutes on stage will be the bestest part!!!) and I am ready to get out all the ornaments and decorations.

Last year Bijou destroyed the tree and broke half of my ornaments. I can't begin to imagine what Lulu and Bijou will do to my tree this year! Cross your fingers and hope they won't knock it down!

2006-11-28T20:55:00.000-05:00

Your Catfish Friend

by Richard Brautigan

If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, "It's beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, "I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them."

2006-11-27T16:09:00.000-05:00

Is it really November?

Outide it is at least seventy degrees. And it is just beautiful. I decided to finally take down my Fall decorations so the Christmas decorations can go up. My work was interrupted by a spider. I had wrapped the railing with grapevines and when I took them off I damaged the spider's web. But worse yet I touched the spider. When I realized what I had done there was a lot of screaming and yelling and jumping. That ended my work outside for today! The kids like her and think she should be our pet. Her name is Lucy.

2006-11-27T15:58:00.000-05:00

Here is a wound that never will heal, I know,
Being wrought not of a dearness and a death,
But of a love turned ashes and the breath
Gone out of beauty; never again will grow
The grass on that scarred acre, though
I sowYoung seed there yearly and the sky bequeath
Its friendly weathers down, far Underneath
Shall be such bitterness of an old woe.
That April should be shattered by a gust,
That August should be levelled by a rain,
I can endure, and that the lifted dust
Of man should settle to the earth again;
But that a dream can die, will be a thrust
Between my ribs forever of hot pain.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

2006-11-26T13:27:00.000-05:00

See, being divorced and lonely didn't turn me into a crazy cat lady. I was born that way!

2006-11-22T23:28:00.000-05:00

What I am thankful for...

I am thankful for all of my friends and my family. I am thankful that my children are healthy, happy, and normal(as normal as my children can be considering their source.) This Thanksgiving I won't be with my kids. But I will be there in their hearts. I love you Elizabeth and Todd Ethan! Happy Thanksgiving babies! I hope you have much to be thankful for! Eat lots of turkey and pumpkin pie. Kisses and I will see you soon!

2006-11-22T23:18:00.000-05:00

LITTLE PRAYER IN NOVEMBER

That I am alive,
I thank no one in particular;
and yet am thankful, mostly,
although I frame no prayer

but this one: "Creator
Spirit, as you have come,
come again", even in November,
on these short days, fogbound.

Lee Rudolph

2006-11-20T02:31:00.000-05:00

Never Look Back

Never look back on the past with regret
For the days that might have been,
Nor the promises made that were never kept
and the goals you did not win.
For life cannot always be perfect
And our days don't always shine bright,
And promises are sometimes broken
And dreams may not turn out just right.
But no time has ever been wasted
Nor did idle tears just fall
That the dear Lord was not watching
And understood it all.
For to everything there is a season,
A time to reap and sow,
A time to laugh and a time to cry,
And a time for us to grow.
So let the ghosts of past memories
Fade and slip away
For the promise of another season
Begins with another new day.

Jean V. Russell

2006-11-19T12:48:00.000-05:00

Confession

Touched by all that love is
I draw closer toward you
Saddened by all that love is
I run from you

Surprised by all that love is
I remain alert in stillness
Hurt by all that love is
I yearn for tenderness

Defeated by all that love is
at the truthful mouth of the night
Forsaken by all that love is
I will grow toward you.

Frantisek Halas

2006-11-19T12:41:00.000-05:00

Ahhh....to be loved!

2006-11-15T16:29:00.000-05:00

Lulu!

2006-11-11T23:34:00.000-05:00

Bijou gets shelved

2006-11-08T07:57:00.000-05:00

Parent Observation at NCADA

Elizabeth takes ballet, jazz, and hip-hop. I got to observe ballet and hip-hop. They are quite a good group of ballerinas. Hip-hop was fun. In ballet Elizabeth is exceptionally good at the barre. Her instructor told us that our kitchen counters are about barre height. So if you wanna give it a try face the counter hold on and try to swing your leg up with out bending your leg at the knee. And don't forget to point your toe!

2006-11-07T12:48:00.000-05:00

Too Cute!

2006-11-06T07:59:00.000-05:00

Little Lulu

2006-11-03T17:30:00.000-05:00

Pajama Day

Spirit week wrapped up with pajama day. I think everyday should be pajama day. Check out Todd Ethan's spongebob slippers.

2006-11-01T15:50:00.000-05:00

It is Spirit Week at the kids' school. Today was wacky tacky day. I think the kids look pretty wacky not so tacky.

2006-10-31T22:49:00.000-05:00

Trick or Treat?

2006-10-30T22:03:00.000-05:00

Haunted Corn Maze = One Very Bad Idea

Have you ever done something and known it was a mistake right from the start? No, I am not talking about my marriage. I am talking about the hairbrained idea I had today. I took my children to the haunted corn maze. I had the opportunity to take them to the plain ordinary non-scary corn maze, but I waited in line over an hour to walk through the scariest corn maze ever. Just walk through a corn field in the dark and that is scary. Throw in some freaks with chainsaws and costumes and get ready to pee your pants. Todd Ethan was paralyzed with fear and may require another year of therapy to recover from our 25 minute journey through the corn. It seemed as if it would never end. I think I am going to have to sleep with the light on tonight!

The kids recovered enough to beg for a bracelet. Halloween wouldn't be the same without a Halloween bracelet. At least that was their reasoning. If I am gonna beg for a bracelet, it won't be rubber. There will be carats involved. Just sayin'.

2006-10-30T14:40:00.000-05:00

The Wedding

Mary and Brian had the most beautiful wedding ever. Mar has been in 17 weddings(including mine) and attended more than 40, so she is definitely an expert. She was the calmest bride I have ever seen. And the most beautiful. I bawled my eyeballs out when we put her in her gown. It was perfect. Then Mr. Wedding Photographer got the brilliant idea to have us hold hands and look at each other. We have known each other since we were 5. There have been weddings, funerals, births, deaths, failures and brilliant successes over the years. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Mar I love you and congratulations on your marriage! I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.

2006-10-26T22:40:00.000-04:00

I am getting married!

Not! Tricked ya! I am just going to a wedding! My friend Mary is getting married on Saturday and I am her matron of honor. I should be packing right now, but it is more fun to be a master procrastinator! I am trying to be real positive about the wedding stuff. I promise not to tell her to run for the hills and stay single! Being married can be good. You never have to worry about not having a wedding date. I have never gone to a wedding, prom, dance, any event you need a date for alone. Saturday I will be alone and dateless with a whole bunch of people I don't even know. There are a few other things spouses come in handy for. Killing giant ferocious spiders comes to mind! And maybe a few other things too.

The wedding is in the Poconos. Afterwards I am driving down to Mom and Daddy's house in NJ. Mommy is going to be 60 on Saturday. And Sunday I am driving back to NC! I plan to take a million pictures. And will post most of 'em here! Happy driving for me tomorrow!

2006-10-24T19:54:00.000-04:00

Kitten Love

2006-10-22T16:44:00.000-04:00

ECU Symphony Orchestra

Concert for Children

Camille Saint-Saens' Carnivale of the Animals

2006-10-21T13:51:00.000-04:00

ECU Homecoming Parade

2006-10-19T18:05:00.000-04:00

I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed

I, being a born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind,
Am urged by your propinquity to find
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body's weight upon my breast:
So subtly is the fume of life designed,
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
And leave me once again undone, possessed.
Think not for this, however, the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
I shall remember you with love, or season
My scorn with pity, -let me make it plain:
I find this frenzy insufficient reason
For conversation when we meet again.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

2006-10-13T10:53:00.000-04:00

TGIF!!!! Even if it is Friday the 13th!!!!

I finally got around to taking pics of my Halloween decorations. I only have decorated the front steps. That is where it ends. The mood only lasted for a moment!